Falls on Me
by blurred3883
Summary: What happens when Ed finally goes mental? He's got a suicidal side to him, and has to have a personal psychiatrist help with his problems, not to mention he hates Al for no reason. Eventual EnvyxEd.
1. Is Violence the Answer?

A/N- Yay! One of those stories I honestly didn't think I would feel like writing! But much to my suprise, it went perfect! Please Read and Review!

Disclaimer- I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, but if I did, every episode would have Roy Mustang in it! Roy and Ed fluff all the way! Same with the Envy and Pride fluff... Where do they come up with these great pairings?

Chapter 1- Violence... Is it the answer?

It was dark, pitch black, with only the small light illuminating from underneath the bedroom door to let the younger Elric, who was supposed to be asleep, know that someone, or something, inhabited the area aside from him. Edward was apparently in there. In fact, Ed was always in there, though Al had no idea what he did. Now that Alphonse was only ten again, he did have a habit of being afraid of the dark... Just a little.

Within the small bathroom, heavy breathing ensued just before the clatter of something metallic and sharp hit the floor, something stained with a substance everyone insane would know so much about. Ed was one of these insane people, and he knew a great deal on the matter of losing blood at a fast rate many times during the week. It was a suprise he hadn't fallen over from blood loss yet.

Why did he have such a bad cutting addiction? What was fueling this hate inside of him? Well, take a look, just a little deeper than the stress the Fullmetal Alchemist ever actually let show through...

The light at the end of the tunnel had grown dim, as far as Edward was concerned, and he didn't believe it would ever brighten again. His only hopes of that ever happening had dissapeared when Al turned back to a ten year old. Many would think this would've made him extremely happy, but it didn't. You see, Edward still had his automail intact, and he didn't like that idea. Not at all.

He'd turned greedy over the years. He wanted more than anything to be normal himself again, and looking at Al just made him all the more envious and angry at the world.

Some nights, he'd walk out of the bathroom after having cleaned the blood off the knife, plotting some way to 'accidentally' have something happen to his younger brother that could cause serious injury, and/or death. It was a vicious cycle, but it progressed. Every. Single. Night.

Within the progression, it was steadily getting worse. He hoped no one would ever discover the abnormally large amount of cuts lining his arm all the way down to his elbow. Ed hadn't forced himself to cut the wrist yet. The situation hadn't gotten quite bad enough to resort to that, and Edward wasn't sure death was the answer. Violence, for the moment, seemed to be.

Tonight, he knew something was up as he sat on the bathroom floor, kneeling against the sink and holding a cloth to his slightly bleeding upper arm. Great, now he'd need to throw another piece of laundry away. What would Winry think was happening to all of these things?

Edward really didn't care. This was what he needed to do, and he was sure of it.

But as he walked out of the bathroom, after cleaning up a little, he could sense his brother was still up, about to have one of those whiney fits. Why was Al so frightened of the dark all the sudden? It was almost as though he'd seen a ghost. Well, Ed certainly couldn't have anyone find out about his almost suicidal means, especially not his brother. That would be the worst yet. So what would he do about the situation? Perhaps it could wait until tomorrow.

A/N- So, was that a good start? I'm hoping so! Some random pairing will emerge from this, depending on how I decide to go about it. Give me your thoughts and reviews, please!


	2. A Broken Bond

A/N- Okay, the goal for reviews at the end of this chapter is at least ten, so if I don't get that many I might not continue. Can't say for sure. This is definately turning into a sad little 'Ed hates his brother for no reason in particular, and if there is a reason it's really stupid' story, which, in fact, there is a really stupid reason. At least as far as Ed is concerned.

Disclaimer- I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of its characters.

Chapter 2- A Broken Bond

Oh, how Edward hated the morning light as it rushed into the room, washed away the silent darkness, the semi-peaceful aura the night had blessed him with. He wanted more than anything to have that silence returned to him, but it wouldn't happen. Al was already awake, looking at him, examining him, almost as though he knew something was wrong, knew what his older brother did in that bathroom every night before slipping off into a world of dreaming.

But, one thing Al didn't know about was Edward's dreams. What he saw belonged to him, only him, and he cherished this with every ounce of strength he had left in his body after losing the amount of blood he usually did. "Morning, brother." Al's voice cut through the silence of the room, but Ed paid him no mind. He was, to be perfectly honest, sick of Al. "Brother?"

"What?" Ed asked, sounding more annoyed than he had in a while. His younger brother looked slightly taken aback. Why would Ed take that tone of voice with him, especially when he had just told him good morning? Was it a bad morning or something? Usually communication was so simple between the two of them... Seeing the look on Al's face, and knowing he might think something was wrong, Ed decided to correct himself. "Oh, sorry Al. I was just daydreaming..." Al smiled. This was the Ed he knew.

"I'm sorry if I interupted you brother." Edward shook his head, and, pushing the covers off of himself, was the first to walk into the bathroom for the morning. Once inside, he decided it would be best to inspect his arm, make sure his sleeves wouldn't irritate it too much during the day. He had to work. Another mission from Mustang, probably a hoplessly pointless one. Honestly, what was the point of being a state alchemist if Al had his body back?

Well, it had been said before, though not to anyone of particular importance. Edward wanted his real limbs back, and in order for that to happen, he needed another Philosopher's stone, and those were few and far between. You were lucky if you even caught wind that someone was trying to create the stone, much less had succeeded at it. Ed sighed at the thought. He'd almost been forced to create one when he was younger. Had the military not intervened, both he and his younger probably would have been dead. And that brought another thought to the blond.

The lieutenants had acted extremely worried when he'd ended up in the hospitol, questioning him on what had happened down at Lab 5. All Ed could really remember was feeling a large amount of energy surge through his body, almost like getting an electric shock, only not as painful. Then he'd blacked out. This was before he'd even seen Lieutenant Maria Ross enter the room. And supposedly, his eyes had been open when she'd done this.

Edward had pondered this thought for as long as he could remember. What had happened in Lab 5, he might not ever know.

These thoughts were displaced when he heard a knock at the door. Apparently, the little ten year old was worried, as he always was when his older brother remained in the bathroom for over fifteen minutes. Edward had been in for barely twenty. In an annoyed rush, he opened the door to stare down at his younger sibling, who was, in return, looking straight back upwards at him, playing with his hands behind his back. "Yeah?" Ed asked.

"I was... worried." Edward gave a large sigh, and rolled his eyes.

"Al, you're always worried." Knowing Ed was starting to become annoyed by his constant anxiety problem, Al took a deep breath, averting his gaze to the ground, where he didn't have to look at his brother, guiltily knowing how sick of him he must be getting. When Al had been trapped in a suit of armor, everything had been so simple. Communication had once been so clear between the two brothers. But now... Look at the mess. "If there's something you want to ask me, go a..."

"What would I ask you, brother? I'm sure everything is just fine." With that said, Al turned on his heel and walked back over to his bed, plopping down on it. He waited for the bathroom door to slam shut before he let his tears fall.

Back within the bathroom, from which Edward could hear his brother's almost distant sobs, he'd pulled his black jacket on over his shirt, zipped up his pants and placed a buckle over them, shoved his leather boots onto his feet, and was attemptedly braiding his hair when he felt it. Something, probably his sleeve, scraping over his newest addition to his upper arm. Great. This would sting for the rest of the day, give or take an hour or so.

Finally satisfied with his hair, he pushed the door to the bathroom open, and looked over at Al, who was now sitting up. He'd wiped his eyes off already, and was probably waiting to get into the bathroom himself.

He must not have known Ed had heard him crying, because now Al was acting as though nothing was the matter. Edward followed suite. Maybe things were better this way, with a lack of conversation in the air, rather than taking any chances to have Ed's sudden 'problem' popping up. Al didn't need to know that his brother despised him right now, just for being alive and well, with _real _limbs, rather than automail.

Ed thought he was home free until he heard Al's soft voice again, piercing through the air and hitting him, hard, like a smack across the face, and one that he deserved. "Brother, make sure you lock the door when you leave." That was all Ed heard before it was Al's turn to slam the door. And slam the door he did.

---

There was, after all, more than one reason Ed cut himself at night. One large reason was the automail, being a constant reminder of how he'd fucked up big time as a kid. Al used to be one. Used to. He wished he was normal, and then maybe, just maybe, he could forget all of the horrible thoughts that haunted his dreams, along with a few new ones that no one was supposed to know about. Not even Roy.

Roy... That was the other reason Edward had to cut himself. To keep the stress away, all that he'd been hiding from Al, was just so difficult.

Edward hid it from his younger brother because he knew he would never be able to accept Ed and Roy having a _real_ relationship. One of those relationships that actually got intimate at one point or another, and Ed was proud of it. He would've liked to say Roy was too, but he wasn't exactly sure that Roy really told anyone about it either. After all, it was their dirty little secret.

It was suprising that Al never noticed how happy Ed seemed to be when he went to Headquarters every day. Usually, he would've complained, been angry and whining about how much he absolutely despised Mustang. But so much had changed when Al had come back.

Roy was also the only one who knew of Edward's cutting addiction, and was trying his best to help. He'd even found Ed a personal psychiatrist. It didn't help at all, but Roy still wasn't giving up on the chibi alchemist. He _loved_ him.

A/N- Okay, I decided on a pairing! Warning, it may not last! Don't get any ideas though, because I'm not fully decided on where I want this story to go. People should know I'm notorious for the Envy factor appearing in my story, and it may as well end up this one. Oh joy... Please review.


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